Sometimes, as we try to practice whole-person-centered care in lifestyle medicine, we hit obstacles. As a helping professional, have you ever considered that sometimes, where you think you are strong, you may not be? I remember one situation early in my career where I thought what I was doing would be helpful; that was my intention. My ill-placed question to a person in crisis really irritated the person. Just after learning that his mother had died, I asked him how he was feeling. Rightly so, he lashed out at me, saying, “How should I know? I just got her and experienced the worst event of my life!”
Sometimes, we feel empowered and anxious to act when all we really need to do is be present. We don’t have to take any action. I have learned to support them in their feelings, but that isn’t always the best approach. What can we do to grow and avoid trying to change someone who does not need to be changed?
Listen to that quiet voice inside as you care for patients
We want to understand what motivates our interactions with others. These movements are usually unconscious to us, although they can become very obvious to others, as the man above. I had to slow down and consider my own needs/experiences and feelings. I had to admit that at that time, I had to learn to surrender the moment to God and let him guide me. The Holy One is always with us, when we are the suffering ones and when we try to help others. If we learn to pause and ask for guidance in the moment, we often can “know” what the person before us needs. I like to contrast that earlier experience with one I had recently. I was working with a woman in addiction treatment. She had not mentioned any information suggesting that she approached life from a religious perspective. I noticed that a line from the Twenty-third Psalm kept wafting through my mind. I took a risk and said, “ I keep having this line running through my thoughts. “ She turned to me and replied with tears in her eyes, “That was what my grandmother always read to me when I was falling asleep.” If we listen, the Spirit of love guides us as caregivers. Sometimes we work too hard and rely on our own strength too much